"How I'm Feeling Now" by Charli XCX is a brilliant work-from-home quarantine project
- MySweeterPlace
- 16 de mai. de 2020
- 4 min de leitura
Atualizado: 17 de abr.
Charli XCX: "How I’m Feeling Now"
Released: May 15, 2020
Label: Atlantic; Asylum
Genre: electronic pop
Producers:
A. G. Cook, BJ Burton, Danny L Harle, Dijon, Dylan Brady & Palmistry
Writers:
A. G. Cook, BJ Burton, Charli XCX, Danny L Harle, Dijon, Dylan Brady, Eli Teplin, Jim-E Stack, Palmistry, Theron Thomas, Tommy Cash, and umru
"How I'm Feeling Now" is Charli XCX's fourth studio album, released on May 15, 2020. Charli's album was recorded on lockdown in Los Angeles over the past six weeks due to the COVID-19 global pandemic. The album itself is an incredible act of artistry and marks her first time working with BJ Burton, Dijon, and Palmistry, besides many returning collaborators. Charli sings of love, loneliness, and solo partying across an album built-in and made for this moment.
In an Instagram post, the singer said that "this process has brought me closer to you guys than ever before, and it's also begun to show me the importance of really listening to myself and my needs without letting guilt get the better of me."
Parts of this album were made with the fan's help. She also appreciates that and thanks to them: "I'm so happy you've all been such a crucial part of the creative process! Co-writing verse 2 of "Anthems" on insta live, making the "forever" video together from all you amazing clips, your green screen versions of "claws," the remixes & edits you made using the stems I drooped (…), deciding which photos to use as a basis for the artworks (…)."
The album opens with "pink diamond," a Charli's banger, which portrays her feelings in pandemics. "Every night looks the same / I'm a pink diamond; I need space," as well as having fun. "In real life, could the club deal with us?" It is relevant to note that this one marks his first collaboration with Dijon.
"forever" is a loved one directed toward Charli's current boyfriend, Huck Kwong. The song shows how she wants to be in his life forever, even if they eventually drift apart. "Hope when we're old, we'll be friends, reminisce/ Hope we'll be there, be there, be there, us two/ All the memories, all the photos we took."
As "forever," "Claws" is a love song containing hip hop, electronic pop, and trance elements. "I love, I love, I love everything about you," she sings.
"Oh yeah, I really, really love you for life (For life)/ Without the Holy matrimony, I'm wife (I'm wife)," she sings on the emotional one "7 years", a song about the stability she's found in her relationship while being quarantined with her boyfriend. In this track, she admits to discovering feelings that she didn't know before and that she now knows so well: "So I made my house a home with you (Oh) I'm right here and it feels brand new/ I used to live inside a lie with you (With you) And now we're honest and it feels so good (Ah, ah)."
One of the most pleasant parts of "How I'm Feeling Now" comes with the next one. "I've been reeling for 12 days/When I start to see fear it gets real bad," goes the tender-voiced first verse of "detonate," a dispatch from the anxious early weeks of lockdown, when the days were still few enough to count. "I'm not tryna be rude/I'm just feelin' confused/ My emotions get blue." In this song, she questions her boyfriend why he loves her if she doesn't trust herself. "I don't trust myself at all/ Why should you trust me?"
On "enemy," Charli realizes that her boyfriend is closer to her than ever and wonders if he is an enemy because being so close, he knows everything she feels like she sings. "You're the only one who knows the way I really feel, oh." This one plays off the famous phrase, "keep your friends close but your enemies closer," where she describes the danger of vulnerability in a relationship. She even includes a voice recording of herself post-therapy session talking about the self-doubt she often feels.
"I finally understand" is another ode to her boyfriend. In the lyrics, she also delves into her struggles with mental health with the line, "My therapist said I hate myself really bad."
"c2.0," seemingly standing for "Click 2.0," interpolates lyrics and vocals from "Click," a fan favorite off XCX's 2019 album "Charli." This song talks about all the things she's missing, mostly her friends.
"Party for u" is probably the dirtiest one, lyrically. "I only threw this party for you, for you, for you/I'm about to party on you," she sings. Here, Charli says that she's organized a party for her love and that she is nothing but being with him at the party she held with so much care and enthusiasm. "You could watch me pull up on your body/ Like it's summer, take my clothes off/ In the water, splash around and get you blessed like holy water/ I don't know what you were waiting for." On the other hand, Charli asks if her partner would stick by her side through the hard times. "If you saw my tears, would you touch me?/ Kiss me on the mouth, say you love me?/Leave a message, tell me you're sorry?"
"I'm so bored/Wake up late, eat some cereal/Try my best to be physical/Lose myself in a TV show/Staring out to oblivion/All my friend are invisible," she deadpans on "anthems," a song workshopped during a recent session on Instagram Live. Here, Charli remembers all the times she spent partying with her friends and how much she felt that.
The last track segment that closes the album, "visions," a psychedelic and violent adventure, in the right way.
"How I'm Feeling Now" is more than just an autobiographical document or an exhibition of Charli's impressive work ethic. This project is what makes her a cult-pop icon.
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