“Petals for Armor” by Hayley Williams is nothing but strength through vulnerability
- MySweeterPlace
- 9 de mai. de 2020
- 6 min de leitura
Atualizado: 17 de abr.
Released: May 8, 2020
Label: Atlantic
Genre: Alternative
Producer:
Taylor York
Writers:
Daniel James, Hayley Williams, Joey Howard, Micah Tawlks, Stephanie Marziano, Steph Marziano & Taylor York
"Petals for Armor" is Hayley Williams's solo debut after working with her band Paramore for over 15 years. The singer explained the inspiration behind the title of the album. "The best way for me to protect myself is to be vulnerable."
The record was produced by Williams' Paramore bandmate Taylor York and was written throughout 2019 during Paramore's hiatus after touring in support of their fifth studio album, "After Laughter" (2017). In a post on Instagram, Hayley describes the importance of Taylor's in her career, saying "(...) anyone who listens to "Petals for Armor" will understand exactly why it had to be Taylor behind the board. He agonized over each part and he truly cared about the stories I was telling (...). I wouldn't be half the artist I am without his impact on my life, musical or otherwise (...)."
Following the touring, Hayley Williams expressed her feelings about the group's future moving forward, explaining that they were not breaking up; however, they needed time away from writing and touring. In an interview with BBC Radio in January 2020, she revealed her process behind developing the album. "I'm so ready and so incredibly humbled to get to share this project... Making it was a scary, empowering experience. Some of my proudest moments as a lyricist happened while writing "Petals for Armor" and I was able to get my hands a little dirtier than usual when it came to instrumentation. I'm in a band with my favorite musicians so I never really feel the need to step into a role as a player when it comes to Paramore records. This project, however, benefited from a little bit of musical naïveté and rawness and so I experimented quite a bit more. I made this with some of the closest people to me."
Hayley puts all her vulnerability on "Petals for Armor," released as three distinct EPs. "Simmer," the first track, deals with anger, anxiety, desperation, and compassion. "Rage, is it in our veins?/ Feel it in my face when/ When I least expect it." The song ends with Hayley finding comfort in her femininity, another central theme on this record, expressed metaphorically as wearing flower petals as armor. If you like this song, you have to listen to the first official remix; a sexier and angrier version of the original produced and featured the American singer Caroline Polachek.
"If you know love/ You best prepare to grieve/ Let it enter your open heart/ And then prepare to let it leave," she sings on the emotional one, "Leave It Alone." This one was the first song completed on the album, and she and Joey Howard ever wrote together. Here, Hayley sings about struggling with losing people. She's afraid of losing more people but knows that she can't hide from it. All these factors sent Williams into a darker place. In an Apple Music interview last February, she told Zane Lowe that only the thought of her dog waiting for her in vain quelled her suicidal thoughts. In the same month, she wrote on Instagram that "I'm still going through the shit I sing about. Writing songs helps but doesn't magically fix exhaustive patterns or hurts."
"Cinnamon" is, according to Hayley, "an ode to my home." She sings about the walls around her, her dog Alf, and her everyday routines. "Home is where I'm feminine/Smells like citrus and cinnamon."
In "Creepin'," Hayley sings about a kind of "vampire" that sucks her energy and how she handles people that suck the joy out of her life. The song can be seen as a metaphor about a hard relationship since she says, "It always starts as something so simple and innocent but/ Too much of anything, you'll never know how to quit, ah."
"Sudden Desire," the closing track to Hayley's first EP, "It's a song about having a lust for feeling you don't want. Like, you're like: "I don't want to feel that, I don't want to desire this person because it might hurt me, it might hurt them. It just may be dangerous. But then, at the same time, that often is one of the very things that will attract us back, that sneaky feeling", she said on an Instagram live Q&A.
"Alright, it took me three days to send you this, but/ Uh, sorry, I was in a depression," she offers by way of explanation. Trailing off, she continues, "Trying to come out of it now…"
That moment of quiet reflection is a good picture from "Petals for Armor": an intense, emotional, and vulnerable work. "Dead Horse," one of the songs she "top-lined" for this album, is about betrayal and everything that led to her divorce. She talks about the shame she has been carrying for over ten years in this track, which after writing, she felt embarrassed to release. However, as she wrote on social media, "It's relieving to have this one out (...)"."Held my breath for a decade/ Dyed my hair blue to match my lips/ Cool of me to try (Pretty cool I'm still alive)."
"My Friend" is a dedicatory to her close friend, Brian O'Connor, for how this person has been by her side all the time. "He and I run a haircare company together, and we've known each other since I was 17, and he was 19. Our friendship has gone through so many stages, and we've been through some heavy shit together. We both went through divorces in the same year. We're like Thelma and Louise: I feel like I would drive off a cliff with him if it came to It.", she said to Pitchfork.
"Over Yet" is a motivational one witch encourages depressed people not to give up on their lives.
"Roses/Lotus/Violet/Iris" tells a story of regrowth. The track is about feminism that uses a garden and its flowers as a metaphor for growing and finding oneself. On this one, Hayley brings Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and Lucy Dacus to the chorus. "Think of all the wilted women/ Who crane their necks to reach a window / Ripping all their petals off just 'cause/ "He loves me now, he loves me not"/ I myself was a wilted woman/ Drowsy in a dark room/ Forgot my roots/ Now watch me bloom."
Hayley sings about forgetting about the person who hurt her so badly on "Why We Ever." This one closes the second EP.
In "Pure Love," she looks into her vulnerable side and lets herself know that if she wants to be loved, she must open up while at the time finding someone who treats her well. "If I want pure love, must stop acting so tough."
In "Taken," she sends a message to everyone looking to date her saying she's unavailable as she's dating someone else.
"Sugar on the Rim," one of the most experimental tracks on "Petals for Armor," seems to point out she's dating someone new and how love, which is an experience that has hurt her for so long, can now give her something good.
"Watch Me While I Bloom" circles back to the flower metaphors that inspired this album. Here, Hayley feels new again, "Shocking to feel/ A positive charge," and willing to move forward with her life and compares herself to a flower who's blooming and getting to the best part of her life. "I'm alive in spite of me/ And I'm on the move/ So come and look inside of me/ Watch me while I bloom, ah."
"Petals for Armor" closes with "Crystal Clear," a beautiful and soft track showing Hayley's enthusiasm to move on with her life. She has now found clear/smooth waters in her new relationship compared to the old one. There's a distinct lightness in her vocals on this one. "Mmm, I don't wanna shut you out/ I don't wanna rush around or slow down/ This time, I wanna stay right here/ I wanna make it crystal clear/ That I won't give in to the fear." Via Instagram, Hayley shares the importance of this song in her life "My Grandat is a crooner. I grew up hearing him play his love songs, written for my Granny, who he's been with since he was 12 years old. My favorite was one he never recorded called "Friends or Lovers". It is one of the most meaningful songs in my whole life. One day, I walked into the studio where Taylor was working on a love song of my own ("Crystal Clear"), he pressed play and I heard my Grandat's voice, singing his song over mine. I have yet to get over the sweetness of that full circle moment in my life (...)."
The message of Hayley Williams' remarkable solo album is clear: wear your imperfections like a coat of armor and find strength in being open and vulnerable.
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